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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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