A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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