roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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What stops a train? A missile

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops