Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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