Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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bangers and mash?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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