A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

bangers and mash?

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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