Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

24

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops