So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

mitchell palmer sucks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...