Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops