What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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