I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops