A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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field day?

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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