A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops