A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +34

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops