What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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womens rights.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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