What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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