What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Poop

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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