Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Atheism

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops