Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Oh, go away

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops