What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Tony Romo

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops