What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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