What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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