An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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I will create more jobs for americans

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Where's my baby??

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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A man died.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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