how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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A guy walks into a bar

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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