The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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