How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Granny porn!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops