What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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civil rights

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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