What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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