A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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