What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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cory

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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