What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down

hi

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops