Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

thumb_up thumb_down +8

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops