Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Hi

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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