Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why so serious? Your brother died.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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A man walked into a bar owch

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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