i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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