A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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poopy is poopy

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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