What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops