What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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I'm tired.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Chlamydia

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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p

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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