Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Sex education in Texas,

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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