A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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White men's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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