What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Chlamydia

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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