In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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watch a i d s left

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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