Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops