Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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