Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops