What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Refridgerator.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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