how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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pobody's nerfect

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops