Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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