Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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