What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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ajkswhfuilafhgkfdgbluft

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops