Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i wonder who made this website? a human

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops