What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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human centipede

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops